This week's writing prompt: "I don't know if you've ever seen the eBay or Craig's List ads by people selling things from someone with whom they've had a big argument or a breakup. But they can be hilarious.
We want you to imagine you've just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child - you get the picture. You're mad. It's time for revenge. What would you sell?"
We want you to imagine you've just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child - you get the picture. You're mad. It's time for revenge. What would you sell?"
Free Items!
The first person who shows up to collect them:
- About 100 grimy, slobbery tennis balls (I threw my arm out on this years ago and just can't take the pain anymore)
- 1 used "Dog-gloo" dog house (I am no longer tough enough to drag her out of there when I have to take her someplace.)
- 1 used, hairy, barfed-on dog bed. (Which explains why she's not allowed in the house.)
- 1 blue dog. She's old and obedient, but entirely too smart. I want to be the dominant female around here for a change. Do you want a dog who will chase a tennis ball until one of you drops? Who will pee all over you when you try to put her in a vehicle? Who I am absolutely SURE can count? She never runs away, throws up several times a day (and always has), and bends her mighty will to your wishes on the rare occasion she feels like doing so. She doesn't eat too much, doesn't chew things up, but she does eat bird seed from under the feeder, which might be the reason why she doesn't seem to eat too much or chew. She also doesn't "sit" or "lay down", not because she doesn't know the command, but because she doesn't think I have the right to tell her what to do. Do you want a dog who doesn't bark at things unless they need barked at, but does occasionally howl in the most hair-raising, unearthly kind of way? She doesn't dig in the trash, and she doesn't poop where she shouldn't (usually), but she does barf just anywhere. She has the most amazing talent: she is able to barf more than she has eaten. I doubt it will win you any television appearences, but it might win you a bar bet.
OF COURSE this is fiction...sort of. That really is my dog and I didn't even exaggerate. She really is a blue barf machine, but you can't have her because I am not willing to abdicate my crown as "Dominant Female" after having struggled so long and hard to win it....
and I actually do love her. I can't explain it.
